If you have kids you totally get this and if you don’t get it well you must just have all your shit together and be Mary freakin Poppins.
I get mom guilt when I go out of town, leave Reece with a sitter or even taking him to preschool which btw he loves and isn’t ready to leave half of the time. He takes a 2 ½ hour nap there too so I’m not chained to the house during nap time.
You guys being a mom is difficult AF!
You are expected to bake the cookies, volunteer at this and that, have amazing birthday invitations, have amazing party favors, Easter photos, Santa photos, bluebonnet photos, do all the Pinteresty stuff, put your kid in every sport, make sure they eat organic, don’t let them watch too much tv, get the homework done, teach them responsibility and a million other things all while taking care of the house, and don’t forget to be a wife and look good doing it all.
I just can’t. I can’t give 100% everywhere all the time.
I feel guilty when I go on a trip just my husband and I but I really shouldn’t because it gives us a chance to reconnect and step away from the daily grind. I can’t be the best mom if I don’t have a strong marriage and partnership. I can’t be the best mom or wife if I am mentally or physically drained.
The thing is I think this whole mom guilt thing comes from what everyone else portrays themselves to be as a parent.
I think at times oh I need to make sure he’s in soccer, piano lessons, swim lessons, spanish class and so on and so on which is ridiculous if you think about it.
He is a kid he doesn’t have to be in everything. Feeling guilty about measuring up to other moms is complete bull shit and the mom shaming can be horrible.
Every family has a different dynamic and I think each family should do what’s best for them.
My family is blended and that can be challenging at times because when I first got married my step son Blake was only 5 years old. I did not understand kids at all but really tried too. I didn’t really get it until I had Reece.
Blake who is my step son technically but I think of him as my own is now almost 12 and really amazing and the best big brother ever but I don’t always know if I am doing or saying the right thing because I have only understood what being a mother is really about for almost 4 years.
My husband’s schedule is jam packed 99% of the time so hell yeah Reece goes to preschool, he loves it and learns a ton so I can get a break and rejuvenate myself mentally and physically.
I am a firm believer that if you aren’t happy and aren’t taking care of yourself you aren’t going to be the best version of yourself and not allowing you to be the best version of a mom or wife you can be.
We as moms shouldnt have to feel so guilty about needing a break from our kids and we need to stop being so judgy mcjudgerson on moms who actually say how they are really feeling.
I get BEYOND annoyed when a mom acts like it is rainbows and unicorns all the time all day everyday with their kids.
Sometimes yeah I want to bitch about my kid writing in permanent marker on the table or peeing on the couch yet again or the multiple tantrums that day but it’s frowned upon and society makes moms feel like they should be joyous and happy ALL the damn time.
I feel like this is why a lot of moms struggle with postpartum depression because no one wants to admit how they are really feeling.
I struggled a lot right after Reece was born. I was recovering from a C section and had terrible breast mastitis to the point I was running a fever and felt like I had a horrible flu. I was EXHAUSTED beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined.
Brian was working 24 or 48 hour ER shifts shortly after birth and I would be alone with a newborn night after night at times.
I would cry every night around 8 pm when the sun was setting feeling overwhelmed with anxiety that I am about to have to be up all night again and again. It was like groundhogs day over and over and I felt guilty for not loving every second of it.
There was one time I said something about being exhausted and newborns were hard and the response I got back A LOT was I should be enjoying every moment of this.
I will be completely honest I wasn’t enjoying every minute of it and was made to feel like something was wrong with me if I didn’t and felt major mom guilt.
I go out of my way now to ask how new moms are doing and if they need to vent because its ok to not love every moment of it and I think it should be talked about.
Don’t strive to be a perfect mom just strive to be the best mom you can be and don’t feel guilty if you need a break or want to go on vacay with your husband or get your hair done or whatever it is that makes you happy and feel good about yourself because when you are in the best place mentally you can be the best mom.